Too Late
by KingJuuzou
Summary: I loved him but he pissed me off, I loved him so much and yet I wanted to kill him most the time. My heart yarned for him and yet I told him to late.


**_I literally wrote this in like two hours so idk how good it's going to be, but I thought of this and wanted to give it a try. I hope you guys like it, let me know what you think in the comments. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, like I said I wrote this within two hours._**

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I loved him but he pissed me off, I loved him so much and yet I wanted to kill him most the time. That was the funny thing about love, you can't choose the people who end up in your life and you defiantly can't choose who you fall in love with it sucks but it's reality.

If anyone would have told me in middle school that I'd fall in love with my enemy, the guy I spend most of my free time trying to kill, then I'd probably would have laughed in your face and told you to see a doctor because there had to be something wrong with you.

But in reality that's what happened, I had fallen in love with a guy that seemed unlovable to the most world and I was sorta okay with that.

I just wish I would have known he felt the same way about me, before it had been to late.

It was a Friday night when my world had come shattering to pieces, me and Izaya had done our normal chase through the town of Ikebukuro, a chase we hadn't done in a while because in all honest I hadn't seen him in Ikebukuro for a few months actually. This time around Izaya had stopped mid chase — on top the roof of an old apartment complex that was to be torn down within a couple months.

It was the first time I had seen the brunette not smiling, he looked serious as he turned toward me and gave me a look I'd never forget, a look that didn't fit him at all and I could tell it was taking everything in him not to cry (it was taking everything in me not to wrap my arms around him as well) he was breathing heavily like he was out of breathe our something, he didn't look like the Izaya he knew because he had a sickly look to him like he was weak, it amazed me with how weak he looked that he was even able to run. But in that moment I'll never forget the words that was spoken from his mouth and the way it obviously pained him to speak.

"I'm dying Shizuo." He said, it was the first time I've ever heard Izaya say my real name without the "Chan" at the end.

"What are ya talkin' about flea?" Was all I could manage out.

"Like I said you stupid protozoan, doctors say I don't have long to live."

My heart stopped, shattered, actually it felt as if someone had taken my heart and stomped it to the ground repeatedly. This couldn't happen to Izaya, the man that has dodged hits and vending machines couldn't possibly being taken out by some human disease.

"That's nothing to joke about!" I said angrily because deep down I wanted this to be one of Izaya's sick jokes.

"I wish I was joking… I've been getting s- sick a lot lately s- so I decided to g-go to the doctor an-and they told me that I- I have stage four prostate cancer. T-They told me we caught it to late… a-and th-that they're going to try everything they can to treat it but s-so far no luck, i- it's been months now… T-today they told m-me to go home an-and get comfortable becaus-" He couldn't even finish the sentence he was so out of breath as he pulled his hood off his head and my eyes winded when I saw how sick he really looked.

He didn't have hair anymore, his eyes looked sunken in yet were red and puffy from how much he has been crying, his face pale, and lips dry. "Izaya…" I spoke soft and took a step forward but he just stepped back.

"I'm ugly I know… H-How am I supposed to charm my l-lovely humans now?" He spoke. "How am I supposed to charm you?" He spoke slow and calm enough for me to understand him. By this time Izaya had slumped to the ground clutching his face trying to hide the fact he was crying — balling his eyes out was more like it.

"You're not ugly… You're still beautiful to me." I chanced it as I walked closer to him and sat in front of him. "You'll never be ugly, not in my book." I spoke softly to him.

"I don't need your pity… I-I don't fucking need it!" He yelled and I knew he was trying hard to be angry but it was more broken then angry.

"You don't understand! Y-You don't know what i-it's like waking up like this… waking up k-knowing you're going to die at any moment, all because of some fucking disease!" He screamed. "Th-there was so much I-I w-wanted to do with my life! S-so much I wanted to see an-and yet I-I'm not going to be able t-to!" He said still screaming because he was taking his anger out on the world — on me and I just let him vent his heart out.

"We can still do some of those things Izaya, I'll help you with your little bucket list if you want…"

He shook his head, "I'm to weak… Hell I-it took everything in me just to play our little game t-today…"

"Well there's got to be one thing on that list that doesn't involve a lot of energy…" I said encouragingly.

"I-I… um… I… well there is one thing."

"Okay then what is it? I'll help you with it."

Izaya bowed his head into his hands further, he didn't say anything for the longest. "What is it flea?"

With a shaky breath he looked up wiping his eyes, "I-I've always wanted to kiss you… e-ever since the day we f-first met." He all but whispered embarrassed by the statement.

I stood there shocked, frozen like a statue because what was I supposed to say? Do? What if Izaya thought I was only kissing him out of pity? Or would he know that my feelings for him were genuine?

I was finally pulled out of shock when Izaya started speaking again, "Don't feel like you have to… It's just with little amount of time left I wanted y-you to at least k-know my feelings toward you…"

"And what exactly are your feelings toward me?" I inquired.

He shrugged and turned away, "I've never been one for feelings b-but I do know I-I like you… a lot and I-I enjoy our little games… I-I know you hate me… all of Ikebukuro does really… I can't blame them, I'm not the easiest person to be around."

"You got that right, you're a complete ass and I would really like to bash your head in most the time… But…. But that um… it doesn't mean I hate you Izaya…. J-Just means you can be annoying sometimes and I know I tell you all the time that I hate you but in reality…. In reality I actually… kind of… maybe love you." I stumbled with my words, I wasn't good at feelings either but it had to be said.

Izaya just looked up at me shocked for a second, not knowing what to say and not really having the time to say anything because I lean into kiss the brunette.

The kiss lasted for about a few seconds, I cupped the side of Izaya's face and Izaya just leaned into my soft touch. When I pulled back he was smiling, a broken hearted smile one that told me all there was to know. He loved me back but just didn't know how to say it.

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That night had been about a year ago, that night I had taken Izaya home with me and I had taken care of him until two weeks after when he had passed away that Tuesday afternoon in his sleep. The doctors had told me he didn't suffer much when he passed, but that didn't stop the overwhelming sadness that crept over me, it still does till this day as I stand there in front of his grave of the only man I ever loved. A man that I couldn't gather up the courage to tell him I loved him before it was too late.

I gripped my hand full of flowers before I rested them on top of the tombstone and I couldn't stop the tears from steaming down my face as I wished Izaya a Happy Birthday; he would have been 24 this year.

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 ** _Hope you enjoyed please don't forget to R &R! I love feedback from you guys! It keeps me motivated to write!(: _**


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